WELCOMING NEW PLAYERS TO YOUR HOME GAME: PART THREE (of three)

Examining My Own House Rules

You’ve seen my house rules in Part Two. They’re pretty basic and not too strict. They leave lots of room for hospitality. For the most part I tried not to assume anything. However, notice I didn’t say ‘no smoking’. That’s because I think it’s generally assumed these days—most people aren’t going to light up a cigarette at someone else’s place unless the homeowner smokes too, which I don’t. I do, however, encourage people to take breaks as needed, for whatever reason. (We have a front room where people can go to smoke).

            One rule I do not have is ‘take off your shoes’. That’s because you can go ahead and leave them on. I’ll vacuum in the morning. If my rules don’t address something, I’m probably going to be cool with it. I’m the easy-going sort. I wouldn’t have any house rules at all if it made the session better. But that’s not really what people want.

            I ask people to bring their own provisions because I don’t know what they might like or dislike. If you want to spike your drink that’s your business. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a gluten free diet, or just plain picky, that’s your business. On special occasions I have made snacks to share or even a whole meal, but that can be a lot of work when I could be prepping for the game.

            I ask people to stay home if they’re sick. I can always update them on what they have missed. And truthfully, nobody wants their crud. Right? Same goes for me if I’m sick. I’m going to cancel and try to reschedule the game. Related to this, I ask that players call or text if they can’t make it. It seems a small thing to ask, but you might be surprised at how seldom people take the initiative.

            My rule about not bringing pets only applies to game night. It also doesn’t apply to those who leave their pets in the car. Otherwise, I welcome my friends to bring their animal friends any other time they visit. I love animals, more than most people, but this rule has its reasons. First, you never know who in the group might be allergic, or who might not like pets, or who would find them distracting. Second, I know for sure that I find them distracting. When I visit someone who has pets, I find myself drawn to spending much of my time ignoring the person I visited, as if I came to see their pets (sorry friends). Finally, what if everyone were to bring their doggos, and everyone wants to bring them in, just like any other time they visit? Personally, I’ve seen enough dog fights in my day.

            Finally, there’s the rule about cell phones. Again, it’s mostly about the whole distraction issue. Unless it’s used for game purposes the cell phone is a distraction. Do I need to go into the importance of immersion in RPGs? It’s right up there with obsessing over dice. Take a break if you need to use the phone. No one will mind.

Hospitality Pointers 

If you are not naturally hospitable, but you’ve read this far into this series of posts, I think it means you have some awareness of your own nature. Yet you do want to welcome new players. Maybe you have had new players that came and went, and you feel that if you’d only got out of your own way, they might still be present.

Over the decades, I’ve seen firsthand how important it is to make new players feel at home. Creating an inviting atmosphere starts with a friendly introduction and letting everyone share a bit about their experience or interests. I find that encouraging players to ask questions and supporting their creativity goes a long way toward breaking the ice and building rapport.

• Greet each player and introduce them to the group.

• Ensure the play area is tidy and comfortable.

• Invite newcomers to share their interests or prior experiences.

• Be attentive to player’s needs.

• Remain flexible and accommodating to different play styles or preferences.

Tips For Good Group Dynamics

·         Incorporate collaborative storytelling moments early in the session.

• Facilitate collaboration through shared goals that require group input.

• Promote inclusivity by welcoming new ideas.

·         Encourage everyone to participate by inviting quieter members to share their thoughts and ideas.

• Recognize and celebrate both individual and group achievements.

Tips For Handling Problems

Another key aspect of hospitality is ensuring your physical space feels safe, comfortable, and accessible. It’s helpful to establish clear expectations at the outset—about house rules, game pacing, and what the adventure is about—so that everyone feels informed and respected.

Hopefully, my experience attending countless public meetings shines through in this final section. Although, you probably won’t even need the tips below. Sometimes, adjusting your own approach or the game itself can help accommodate different play styles and personalities. And most gamers are pretty chill.  However, if anything can go wrong, it probably will, as someone once said. So …

·         Address Issues Promptly: If a problem arises, speak privately with the player. Try to understand their perspective and find a solution together.

• Stay Calm and Objective: When conflicts occur, avoid taking sides. Focus on the behavior, not the person. Invite players to share concerns or feedback, ensuring everyone feels heard and valued.

• Redirect Disruptive Behavior: Gently steer the game back on track if someone is monopolizing the spotlight or breaking immersion, using humor or a quick break if needed.

• Seek Consensus Before Making Big Changes: When introducing a new rule aimed at resolving disputes, involve the group in decision-making to foster a sense of ownership and fairness.

And that’s everything I know about welcoming new players. Thanks for reading it through. Please leave your thoughts and come again.